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DanielSowelu.com

Leader Teacher Pioneer

Adoptions, Conception and Other Cosmic Mistakes

Q. I was adopted at six weeks of age. My adopted family was OK but not close. I have always felt alone, never belonging and lacking trust in anyone. My birth mother objects to any contact. I miss a sense of family line. Any ideas on working this through?

A. Despite all of this, you can eventually reclaim your own sense of roots, not in the traditional sense but in ways that truly honour the individual that you are and, reclaim your absolute right to be here, in this life, in this body! 

Being rejected by our birth mother feels like being ejected from heaven by the gods, it really damages our feelings of being OK on the planet. So the first thing to do is to separate the mother rejection from the “god-rejection”. Irrespective of her issues and her reasons to give you up, you have an absolute right to be here, because YOU ARE! This may sound tripe but I’ve seen so many people carry a subconscious belief that they are essentially wrong because they’ve reincarnated again or there’s been some kind of cosmic mistake…click ‘Read More’ to continue…

One of the most powerful ways of really getting this is through some regression work to take you back to your conception. This will sound crazy to some but our conception experience is actually recorded in our very cells. At that cataclysmic point, even though we are just two cells meeting, all the energies around us, emotional, sexual, collective and personal are absorbed by a kind of psychic osmosis and stored in our cellular makeup, which then goes on to be replicated as we go through the cell reproduction that eventually goes on to make up our entire body. Practices to take us back to work with this are found in some forms of Buddhism, as womb conditioning meditations; in primal therapy, particularly with students of the late Melbourne psychiatrist Graham Farrant and in experiential astrology, initially pioneered by Tad Mann.

The point of this is to both work with the dynamics that led to your adoption and, to get to the spiritual essence of your conception. If you can get to that point, it can make an enormous difference about the way you feel about yourself. I have seen individuals lives transformed by the experience, because underneath the emotional debris lies an experience of absolute unity that can only be called sacred and one which both transcends the family issues and leaves one with a profound feeling of absolute rightness of their place.

Astrologically, this is represented by the cusp or beginning of the 8th House. It appears that your mum went into that particular sexual experience with a naïve yearning for both deep relationship and family but attracted a heavy, painful betrayal which replicated her own deep feelings from childhood rejection and abandonment. This is probably why she gave you up, and keeps you at arms length, as your presence takes her too close to her deepest pain.

Despite all this, there was actually a lot of grace at your conception; you were being watched over by a strongly benevolent power, probably because your journey was going to get so rough. You will find this in you as you work through this territory, should you chose to do so. It will support you to work through your own tendency to self-reject, something you have absorbed from this earliest of experiences.

Also your chart clearly states that you do have a very powerful family line. The more you can connect with the primal parts of yourself the more connected you will feel. This includes connecting spiritually with the earth, as your essential spirituality has a very aboriginal, indigenous feel to it, something you can draw from psychically and emotionally.

You do belong here.