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DanielSowelu.com

Leader Teacher Pioneer

Powerful Daughter

 

Q. Hello Daniel. This is my daughter’s time of birth, and the question is to hopefully give me some clarity to understand where she might be coming from. My daughter is gorgeous, strong and powerful, but is incredibly hard and constant work. She resists almost everything and fights just for the sake of fighting. At the moment I have taken her out of what I thought initially to be a beautiful Steiner school, but unfortunately 6 months in, the bullying against her, both physically and emotionally leaving her with ever growing wounds, and so I decided to take her out, when I realized it was endemic within the culture of that school. The school before was small and she did not have many children to play with that we’re her age, and she resisted going nearly each and every day. She screamed, cried and kicked the teachers. She is diagnosed with “separation anxiety”, and generalized anxiety. We have worked with psychologists, homeopathy, kinesiologists, flower essences, intuitive healers, natural doctors and the list goes on. My husband agreed to temporarily allow her to be homeschooled until I find another alternative. She seems so much happier, but I do not think I could homeschool her for a long period, as her energies are just so intense. I remember my first impression of her as a newborn, where I surprisingly enjoyed my labour and it was easy and quick, but when I looked at her, it just seemed she had come in with a lot of baggage. I have another daughter, who is thankfully so light and easy and balanced. We also lived in the Middle East for a period of 5 years, which added to the mix. I am just wondering if you can give any insight as to the best way we can support her to be a powerful woman.

A. You indeed have a very complex little girl and her inner struggles are just as intense as her energy and her outward behaviour. And she is going to become an exceptional human being with a great deal to offer the world, as she learns to juggle some of the great contradictions in her psyche.

Astrologically she has a strong deep Virgoan core, Sun conjunct Mars and Ceres with Jupiter later in the sign, and a very different Aries Moon. So her two core energies are a mix of earth and fire, introvert and extrovert, cautious and risk-taking and are inconjunct each other, something that exaggerates the inner tension. On the simplest level this describes a child that requires both quiet, gentle security and, dynamic and expressive releasing of her fiery emotional individualism its corresponding stress. She will need lots of physical activity that both releases this fire energy, free dance for instance and down the track, maybe martial arts to contain and direct her ferocity.

Also very gentle bodywork, Reiki and particularly craniosacral therapy would be very supportive for her, as she needs support to relieve the sheer strain on her nerves as well as the rest of her body. The craniosacral is very subtle and non-intrusive work but any of them would also be good for the emotional armouring around her heart.

The sources of her anger and aggression are deep and equally complex. With her Mars conjunct Sun and squaring Pluto, while the Sun is opposite Uranus in Pisces her was always going to be intense and volatile. The Pluto square describes her as sitting on top of an inner volcano that is highly unstable, as you know. It is also enormously confusing for her because she is being pushed by unconscious powers that she struggles to control.

It has to be pointed out that looking at a child’s chart is a courageous and quite confronting for a parent to do as it doesn’t just describe her own unique psyche, its karmic background but also the dynamics between her and her parents. With the Sun/Uranus and the Mars/Pluto its points to two psychological influences, the unhealed and buried rage in her dad from his own childhood and some kind of disturbing energy around her conception that has made her ambivalent about being here. It would be worth reviewing where your relationship was at around the time she was conceived and if you can remember the quality of that particular episode of love-making.

In fact the rage comes from both parents as an expression of much more ancient sources within the family system going back generationally. Her Aries Moon is square Medusa above her Ascendant and square Chiron conjunct Hekate on her Descendent.

The former describes a similar level of unhealed and more than likely unconsciously carried rage in you and from the female lines in both family systems, rage to do with many of your female ancestors handing over their power and individuality to their men. This gets carried down psychically and eventually somebody is given the job of manifesting its dark truth. In a way your girl is channelling this material because no-one else has been able or willing to do so (which is not a judgement as this operates on such an unconscious level that few individuals are fully aware of it, let alone willing to undergo the trials of healing it).

In an adults chart I would be recommending the expressive therapies like primal, breathwork, psychodrama or gestalt. My own primal trainer, the late Graham Farrant, did work with children on this level but I don’t know if anyone continued that thread of his work. I’m making enquiries with my colleagues at the moment.

Having Chiron, the Wounded Healer, so strong means that she has come in with an incredible level of psychic and spiritual sensitivity (along with the Sun inconjunct a Neptune/Psyche conjunction in Aquarius), one that includes an exaggerated tendency to act as a psychic sponge for other people’s pain and woundedness. This is driven by some very old karmas that are unavoidable but she will be helped considerably by people around her acknowledging their own wounds and taking responsible to healing them.

So if you and her dad can work with your own pain and the different levels of anger in each of you, it will be one of the best things for her, and for both of you and your relationship. Know it or not she has come to heal you.

The other thing that is clear is that her experience of her birth was very different to yours and that you are right, for all of the above, she has bought in some very intense karmas and many pre-existing wounds, that interweave with the dynamics I’ve already described. (So it’s not all her parents “fault” and never is!).

One’s birth is represented by the Ascendant and she has Medusa conjunct above this cusp and a Venus/Saturn conjunction below it, all in Cancer. This means that she was experiencing psychically and absorbing the dark energy of the betrayed feminine in the last hour of labour and then when she did emerge and take her first breath, experienced some form of rejection or judgement. Or what she, due to some karmic imprints, interpreted as rejection.

As Chiron was also a part of her birth experience, she was already very psychically exposed to a great deal of unhealed pain and rage and her automatic response was to shut down around her heart to protect. This is what isolates her and magnetises others to dump their stuff onto her. It’s incredibly painful particularly when all this action is in the sign of Cancer, that part of each of us that longs to bond deeply to mum and to feel safe in the world.

This is an overwhelming list of complexes and I have no doubt that you’ve despaired on many occasions for her and the family. Despite all of the above, there is a lot of healing energy around her at this time and for the next couple of years, but by its very nature will push a lot of this old material to the surface. On the basis of her transits, I encourage you to home school but if possible find someone who can fill in for you so you don’t burn out. There is an extraordinary intelligence in her and it will be good to have other adults who can meet her in the relative quiet of one on one relating.

She does need appropriate protection as her healing processes are also opening her up psychically in order to flush. It would be good to have protection essences from any of the bushflower systems as she will need support to bounce off other people’s energies.

Uranus will cross over her Moon a number of times in the same period, so you can expect more wild outbursts but it good to keep in mind that this is a calling from her deepest individuality to shake off ancient toxicities and constraints on her fire and its need for true emotional freedom. It’s also why you need to expose her to dynamic and creative ways of expressing her emotional and physical energies.

Let’s also be clear that while she has a tough chart, she also has a gifted one. Inherent in all the line-ups I’ve mentioned she has great power in her belly, transformative power that she will learn to eventually channel well.

With Chiron, and Hygeia conjunct her Leo Mercury, she is a natural born healer and while some of those gifts are already available, as she does the necessary deep work to heal herself, she will become an exceptional healer/facilitator/therapist. And if she does, she will work with; now get this, birth trauma, relationships dynamics, with women to assist reclaiming their power and sexual potency.

Her psychic abilities are pronounced but are currently operating in skewed ways through the old karmic baggage. It will take a long time to clarify that for herself.

And she may well teach! Her South and North Nodes are in the 3rd and 9th Houses, those of learning, teaching, communication, publication. She has bought a lot of knowledge in with her as a soul to express and it comes from ancient and powerful sources.

The dark goddess positions, Medusa, Hekate, Black Moon, which represent the family system distortions, on a whole other level say that the sacred feminine, the goddess has claimed her as her own and as a vehicle for their truth, wisdom and intelligence in the world. One way or another she will become a great protector of the rights of women. And anywhere else where her fiery, earth passion will take her.

You have a unique being on your hands and while she will wear you out frequently, you are a part of the right alchemical container for her, as she is for your whole family.

Go well, with grace and blessings.