0 Items

DanielSowelu.com

Leader Teacher Pioneer

Preparation for Healthy Relationship – Part 1

Q. You write about creating healthy relationship but this is seems so far from my own experience that I truly wonder what that would look like for me or how to get there!?

A. From an astropsychology perspective there are a number of processes that must be worked on within to prepare the way for the possibility of creating or attracting a healthier form of bond with someone else. These are all obviously ideals but keeping the notion that we are all works in progress, in general and in relationship, gives us permission not to attempt unrealistic perfection and allows us to be more lovingly human. Another helpful attitude is that in relationships, like parenthood, expect to stuff up along the way as a necessary part of the journey…click ‘Read More’ to continue…
Firstly, create a better balance between the masculine and feminine within. We’ve had centuries of enculturisation to over identify with our gender and to live out our contrasexual self through a partner. This creates imbalances in both self and in a relationship that keeps both individuals stuck in traditional roles. In a chart this is represented by the Sun and Moon equation. The more balanced we are the less we need someone to make us feel complete or whole (as if that was ever possible in the first place!)

Secondly and related to the first, get to know the inner child within yourself. The more we know that little one within and have taken responsibility for healing, nurturing and claiming him or her, the less we however unconsciously expect our partners to be a substitute parent or to heal, nurture and protect us. Nothing drives codependency like unresolved childhood issues and needs. The Child is represented in the 5th House of our charts, within the Moon, Venus and Mars and has elements in both Uranus and Neptune as the creative, sensitive and magical child. The more loved our child is, the more we are naturally open to love.

Thirdly heal your anger issues and look after your warriors. Mars is the partner of Venus, the goddess of love and the two of them are the traditional planets of love and sexuality. If Mars is out of control or suppressed, Venus cannot work well either. In the former, relationship is compromised by too much ego, individualism or abusiveness, in the latter poisoned by unresolved rage and debilitated by the lack of passion, vitality and good boundaries. Mars (and Lilith) working well ensures that we can balance our individual needs with that of our relationship, helps maintain good boundaries and, with Lilith, sets the scene for the possibility for relationship between true equals.

This is just the beginning of a long list which we will continue next month, but the bottom line is that the more we take responsibility of our inner balances, the more likely we are to attract and sustain healthier relationships than we’ve known. It requires great commitment, courage and effort but the fruits are great, as whether we are “successful” in relationship or not, we become far more whole in ourselves.